Is your communication killing or growing your relationships?

Speak Success Chronicles…
Ponder this as you think about life (in general), business and love.
As I sat in session with a super adorable and motivated elderly man who spoke Cantonese & Mandarin with limited English, I obtained further proof of my theory that one’s desire or willingness to communicate with another supercedes language, age, race, gender, disability or ethnicity.
We worked on his ability to swallow his food safely and he was able to follow my instructions as well as communicate pain, fatigue along with other difficulties by using gestures. We were so in tuned that even when he had a side conversation with his wife and daughter that I answered his question without anyone having translated it to me. His daughter laughed and said, “You speak Cantonese.”
Consider these tips the next time you enter a conversation:

  • When you’re motivated, you listen or find a way to receive the message.
  • When you’re motivated to connect and be heard, you express yourself by any means necessary. Even it means learning to speak another language or communicate better, you do it!
  • When you’re not motivated, the barriers become excuses that you allow to kill and hinder relationships. I believe it was Bishop T.D. Jakes (don’t quote me on that as it could have been Drake too…lol) who said something to the tune of you are either living or you are dying. He went on to speak more bout— Your relationship is either living or dying and the determining factors are the actions of both parties (I more confident he did say this…lol).
  • When the other party doesn’t want to communicate, they have consciously or unconsciously chosen death to the interaction.
  • Regardless of your desire to grow and let the relationship live… when your partner has decided to not engage, there is nothing left to say as communication is a two-way, curvy and cyclical street.
  • Communication has a destination and a goal versus talking, which is simply an activity and vehicle of expression but doesn’t have to have a purpose.

Next time you enter a conversation with someone for any reason, ask yourself, “Do I want this relationship to grow or die?” and then govern yourself accordingly.

Go and Speak Success!!!


Shulie Speaks:

For panel discussions, group and individual training and keynotes contact us at

frontdesk@speechandvoicecenter.com or 832-356-1419

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About the Author
Shulie Gibson, a degreed and certified speech and voice professional, teaches aspiring and professional speakers the ASK method to prepare them to speak from the heart, be authentic and crush it in any speaking situation. She prepares speakers to put their best foot forward and provides solutions for those nagging voice issues and speech questions!

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